Probabilities and Consequences
by AoiKame
Summary: What if the canister of mutagen never fell? What if they were never taught ninjutsu? What if?  Leo ponders the possibilities, the consequences, and the what-ifs of their unconventional life all too early in the morning.


Disclaimer: I don't own the turtles. They wouldn't be as awesome if I did. :P

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><p><strong>Probabilities and Consequences<strong>

Leo rolled over in bed and blankly stared at the ceiling. There was nothing particularly fascinating about it but he simply held his gaze at it. He heaved a heavy sigh as he rolled over again and stuck his head into his pillow. It seldom happened, but it wasn't an impossibility. Leo felt lazy. His bones felt heavy, muscles relaxed, head light and empty. He just didn't feel like doing anything. Even the small effort to lift his head and check the time on his alarm clock was difficult.

5:00

He groaned when he realized that morning practice would begin in a mere hour and a half. Any other time, Leonardo woke up at this time and, with purpose in his steps, began his personal morning meditation. This routine had been so ingrained in his system that even when he didn't feel like waking up that early, he did.

Leo grumbled as he tried to coax his body into sleep again. He shut his eyes tight and breathed out slow and heavy, feigning sleep. After a few minutes, Leo shifted again on his bed and sighed irritably.

"This sucks." He said out loud as he lay on his bed eyes wide open. His body wouldn't allow it. Not even a single day of sleeping in. "Stupid body clock..."

Seeing as his body didn't feel like cooperating, Leo decided that he might as well grab some breakfast. He quietly wondered why he felt so tired that day. He couldn't remember doing anything especially taxing yesterday. A small scuffle with the Purple Dragons, training, meditation, nothing new. In fact, even his brothers had been very agreeable yesterday. No pranks, no fights, no appliances or furniture broken, nothing extreme. He moved around his room to turn off his alarm and grab his gear and bandanna.

As he shut his bedroom door behind him, he breathed in deeply and smiled. He suddenly remembered the reason why he liked waking up early. The lair was still and quiet, the only sound being that of the stream of water gurgling beneath the make shift Japanese garden in the common room and the low ticking of the wall clock in the kitchen. The cold of the morning seeping into the stone walls of their home, giving the lair and the very air itself a crisp and new feeling to it.

Leo felt the laziness slowly ebb away from his body as he briskly made his way to the kitchen. Grabbing an apple, he sat down and aimlessly stared off into space.

There were many things to consider as subterranean beings who were shunned by the human race, one of these being why they care so much about them. They had no actual obligation to rid New York of all these thugs and the like that even the police themselves find difficult to subdue, nevertheless, he and his brothers keep on doing it. Leo frowned as he took another bite out of his apple. He understood why there was a need for somebody to do it, but he didn't understand why they felt like taking on this responsibility themselves. They weren't even human in the first place. Leo felt confused. Although they've been doing this for years, it's as if they were ignoring this particularly glaring detail. Leonardo knew that it was the honorable thing to do. To protect the weak and to save their lives. "But, we do these things at what cost? Our clan? My brother's lives?" Leo whispered into the empty kitchen. It was by mere coincidence that they were hit by that strange canister with goo. It was by mere coincidence also that their master was trained in the ways of the ninja. They were all simply caught up in these circumstances, yet they felt that obligation, True, deep and heavy within their souls. Still, one would like to consider the possibilities and the endless what-ifs. He continued to contemplate the matter for a while, whittling away at the apple. He felt disturbed at his train of thought.

He glanced at the clock on the wall and realized that it was about time his brothers woke up.

Leo made his way to Donatello's room and gently rapped on his door. Hearing no reply, he opened the door to reveal his brother slumped over his desk. Leo clicked his tongue against his teeth at his stubborn brother who he had distinctly reminded to go to bed and almost forcibly removed from his desk the previous night. Apparently sleep was not as interesting for his purple clad brother than his experiments. As Leo entered the room to wake his brother, he wondered if Donnie ever thought about giving up their life of fighting crime. Out of all them, he was the one who had shown the least interest in any form of violence. Leo smiled fondly at his loving, caring, peace-keeping brother.

"Donnie," he called out to his brother who he lightly tapped on the shoulder, "Wake up. It's almost time for practice."

Donnie yawned and then blinked sleepily at Leo and muttered an answer of confirmation. Leo watched and continued to munch on his apple as his brother nursed a stiff neck. He smiled mischievously at his brother's actions which earned him a glare.

"See you at the dojo Don" he said casually, snickering as he turned his back on the sore turtle. He heard Donatello mutter behind his back something along the lines of murder via a boiling pot of coffee. He wasn't entirely sure to whom he was referring to, Leo or himself. "He really should start laying off the coffee." Leo thought out loud as he glanced at Donatello shuffling his way to the kitchen. As he walked away, the "what-if" felt palpable in the air. What if Donnie never picked up his Bo staff? What if Don had been born a normal human? The world couldn't appreciate his genius down here in the sewers. Leo and his brothers did, but the world never could.

Shaking his head, Leo turned to the next task at hand, waking up Mikey. Out of all his brothers, Mikey was the most difficult to wake up in the morning. Every morning was interesting in that Leo had to keep finding more and more creative ways to do the task. From pulling out the mattress from under his body to dumping cold water on his head, he'd done these and many more. He didn't want to do anything worse but it seemed that Michelangelo's body was adamant to becoming resistant to Leo's methods.

Leo took a deep breath as he entered his brother's room. The room was dark save a patch of light near his brother's bed. Although we've lived all our lives in the dark recesses of the sewers, Mike never really grew comfortable in that environment. When he could afford it, he would light up any place he was at. And he does. He lights up anywhere he's at even without a match, candle, or lightbulb. With that thought, Leo smiled. He wondered also if Mikey ever considered to quit this lifestyle they had. He knew his brother would prefer to lead a more peaceful life. Fighting to survive the best they could without adding any more dangers to what they already have to face.

The scant light given off by the nightlight was enough for Leo to see that Mikey simply wasn't there.

'What if-?'

"Mikey?" he called out tentatively, all the while searching every corner of the room. He hurriedly made his way over to the bed and threw the covers out of the way. No Mikey.

'What if-?'

Under the bed. No Mikey. He turned to run and call out to his other brothers when a dark shape flew out of the shadows on his left.

"Don-Auuugh!" He screamed, dropping his half eaten apple.

He quickly regained his composure and pulled both hands back to grab his swords, only to find himself grappling with air. He forgot to strap on his swords. He could've punched himself for his lazy attitude this morning. However, there was no time for that now. An assailant had infiltrated the lair and was laughing at him.

'Wait, laughing?' Leo mused incredulously.

The black figure that attacked him was crouched down on all fours and laughing out loud. Donatello had reached the room upon hearing Leonardo's exclamation and was now leaning against the doorframe laughing alongside his attacker.

Leo groaned as he pulled a hand over his face.

"What? What happened?" called out a gruff voice still heavy with sleep from beyond the door, causing Leo to groan louder. Thoughts of torture by teasing and the like weighing his shoulders down.

Raph pushed the door fully open and let the situation register in his mind. He smirked and barked a laugh at Leo.

"Hah! Gotcha Leo! Man, you should've seen the look on your face!" Mikey squealed in glee.

"Ha Ha, don't get used to it Mikey." Leo replied in disdain.

"You'll get yours," Leo continued, smirking at his orange clad brother, "later."

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><p>Unfortunately for Leo, Master Splinter had assigned Raphael for his sparring partner, belaying the whoop-ass revenge he had concocted for his mischievous brother. In any case, Leonardo accepted the set-up wholeheartedly. He enjoyed sparring with Raph. It was always exciting, always challenging. Ironically, this was one of the very few situations that the two brothers did not clash terribly. Their weapons would sing in the air harmoniously, their breath quick and crisp. Amber eyes against Amber eyes, gleaming with contentment.<p>

Today however, they were going to spar without weapons.

As Leo rose from the customary bow, he stared intently at Raphael and took his stance. For Leo, Raph was the most difficult to figure out. He never really followed the rules. He didn't feel the need to. He had his own set of rules.

_Leo blocked a parry of punches and snuck in a strike of his own before flipping over his brother's back._

He sometimes envied his brother, the way he could freely move around and speak his mind. Social conventions seemed to crumple at his feet.

_A sweep at Leo's legs brought him down onto his side. Without losing pace, Leo leapt up to his feet and threw a kick at his opponents face._

Or maybe he just stubbornly stepped, punched, and kicked at all the rules that were in his way. Either way, he envied this sense of freedom that his brother enjoyed. Leo didn't want it for himself however. A different path was laid out before him.

Leo blinked and with wide eyes could only stare as Raph bore down on him before a dragon kick sent him soaring across the mat.

Leo rolled over and stared at the ceiling panting hard. 'Wasn't this where I started this morning?' Once again Leo felt heavy and resigned. He shifted his gaze to his brother's face who was kneeling beside him and had a hand offered to him. The expression on Raph's face was unreadable.

He wondered if Raph ever thought of "What-ifs", if he ever thought of looking back and wondering about the possibilities. The choices they've made, both good and bad.

Leo took the proffered hand.

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><p>"What's wrong with ya fearless?"<p>

Leo looked up from his seat on the couch and found Raph gazing curiously at his brother.

"What do you mean?" Leo replied, settling back onto the couch and turning his eyes to the book he had been reading. It was open on the same page since he initially opened it. Leo idly wondered how long he had been sitting there with an open book in his hands.

"You've been distracted all day and the sparrin' we had today was pathetic."

"We all have off days Raph."

"I guess..." Raph replied, voice unsure. He settled down on the couch beside his brother.

"Don't worry Raph, I'm fine. I've just been mulling over some things in my mind."

The red banded turtle simply nodded in understanding. They continued to sit there in comfortable silence. Leo lightly wondered if the apocalypse would fall upon them any time soon. He and his brother, on any other day, could not withstand being in the same room for more than 7 minutes and 23 seconds. Don and Mikey had timed it. Any longer than that would usually result in a screaming match or weapons being drawn. Leo looked at the brother beside him and wondered again about "What-ifs".

Raph eyed him suspiciously. "What?"

Leo sat up straighter and licked his dry lips. "Raph," he started saying, "have you ever wondered about why we do what we do? I mean, why we risk our lives for people we don't even know, the very people who shun us."

Raph raised an eye ridge and replied, "That's what's been eatin' ya all this time?"

"Well, yeah." Leo mumbled, "I've been wondering about what kind of life we would be leading if we didn't have to... Live the way we do." Leo looked around meaningfully at his surroundings. Down here in the sewers, the only light they had to go by was the fluorescent light bulbs they've scavenged. There was no warm sunlight from the sun to filter in through. Ominously, a bulb at the far end of the room popped.

Raph rubbed the back of his head and sighed deeply. "That's how it is fearless. You can't just let these things weigh you down. What's done is done, nothin' you could do about it. You gotta live in the present and let go of the past."

"Now, 'bout why we keep doin' this crap, savin' lives and all." Raph continued, "Guess it's cause we CAN do somethin' 'bout it. Even if we weren't ninjas, I think we'd still be doin' the same old thing. Maybe not kicking ass like we do now, but we would do somethin'. I'd probably go vigilante, like Casey."

Raph looked his brother in the eye. "Regardless of how we feel, crime would keep on goin' and lives would continue bein' in danger. We might as well make the most of our abilities to get rid of what we can."

Leo stared at his brother and smiled. It wasn't often that the two of them spoke with each other like this. Raph may not be the most eloquent of people, but he still had a way with words. "You know Raph, you make a lot of sense when you're not trying to bite my head off."

"Ah shaddup Leo." Raph replied with a blush. "so anyways, stop worryin' about it man. It ain't like ya to be unfocused and shit. That's me, Don, and Mikey's schtick. Otherwise, I'd be able to beat you up quick and easy like earlier."

Leo snorted in reply. "Maybe I'd like to let go of that 'schtick', or so you say, for a while. Wanna go out?"

Raph gave his brother an incredulous look, "It's still light out."

"I know." Leo said with a level gaze.

The red clad turtle laughed out loud and clasped an arm across his brother's back. "A'ight, lead the way."

It was good to let go of the self-imposed iron tight self control once in a while, Leo decided. As he raced along the sewers with his brother right beside him, he could almost feel the warmth of the sun beating down on his skin, his face.

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><p>Sorry if it was confusing. I didn't really get where the story was going myself. I started writing it then I couldn't stop. Then I just wanted it to to end because I was getting annoyed with it. LOL. Anyway, I tried to modify it to make some sense, but to no avail. Maybe? R&amp;R please so I would know if it actually did. )<p>

(this was originally supposed to be a humor piece btw hahaha)


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